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Review
USA Weekend contributor and ADHD researcher presents information on how to help and cope; chapters include Psychological Denial, Treatment Results that Last, and Driving While Distracted, which includes Denise's story of when her husband slammed into a moose at fifty mph because he was playing with the radio, fussing with the cell phone, adjusting the heat. -- Alex Moore, Book Review Editor, Foreword Magazine, August 6, 2008Gina Pera has written a stunning book that should be a must-read for all couples where one or both partners have Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Combining her own experiences, a thoughtful synthesis of the clinical and research literature, and a creative study of her own design, she has grasped the complex ways in which ADHD affects relationships and has translated her comprehensive expertise into a highly readable and extraordinarily helpful guide. Her prose is extremely effective, at times funny and at other times poignant, and her ability to capture the subtle dynamics of partnerships affected by ADHD is nothing short of extraordinary.What is particularly stunning about her achievement is the way Ms. Pera has captured the intricacy of ADHD, including its far-reaching effects on executive function and emotional regulation. Equally impressive is her talent for framing the issues in comprehensible language, with answers to frequently asked questions, quotes from partners with and without ADHD, and snippets of dialogues that are completely genuine. Best of all, this book offers hope and guidance to the millions of adults whose lives have been challenged by ADHD, by providing clear and useful ideas and a richly elaborated framework for addressing the myriad stresses that ADHD imposes upon intimacy and friendship.Kudos and thanks to Ms. Pera! I will make this book required reading for all my patients. It is nothing short of a tour de force! -- Anthony L. Rostain, M.D., M.A., Medical Director, University of Pennsylvania Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program; Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics, University of Pennsylvania School of MedicineMost books on marriage offer insights and help to common marital problems such as the traditional conflicts around sex, money, children, time, and in-laws. They offer credible solutions such as conflict management, improved communication, and problem solving skills. This book is different. For some couples these problems are exacerbated by the often unnoticed presence of a particular neural wiring in the brain, called Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, that makes traditional solutions ineffective. This book describes ADHD in detail and with empathy and helps couples with this added challenge find hope and solutions. I recommend it highly to all couples whose troubles seem incomprehensible, and for all couples therapists it should be required reading to help them distinguish between ordinary conflict and the roller coaster of this syndrome. -- Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples and codeveloper of Imago Relationship TherapyInsightful, helpful, witty, and very practical. This book can change your life. --Daniel G. Amen, M.D., author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life ... contains information that is just not available anywhere else. This book is sure to become the authoritative guide for couples dealing with ADD. --Patricia O. Quinn, M.D., Director, The National Center for Girls and Women with ADHD ...We expect this book will be the bible for all of us dealing with adult ADD. -- Elizabeth Weathers and Diane Hartson, moderators, ADD Spouse support group ... I can safely predict it will become as much an 'industry standard' as Driven to Distraction. --David Edelberg, M.D., Medical Director, WholeHealth Chicago ... The book is well researched, reader friendly, and includes insights and perspectives from a Who's Who of professionals. For couples struggling with ADHD, it's the season's new must-have book and bound to become a classic. --Michele Novotni, Ph.D. Psychologist, Coach Confirmatory brain neuroscience answers this speculation about Adult ADHD: It s a real problem with real and painful challenges, not a belief system. -- Charles Parker, DO, Medical Director, CorePsych, author of Deep Recovery ... Gina Pera has combined a real feel for the disorder with sound reporting skills and the spice of those who tell the story best: the couples themselves. -- Margaret D. Weiss, M.D., Ph.D., Head, Provincial ADHD Program, British Columbia, Canada ... Gina Pera has been there and has authored a guide that offers understanding for the confused, practical strategies for the frustrated, and hope for the despondent. This book will be a lifesaver for both partners. -- Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., M.B.A., author of Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD
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About the Author
Gina Pera is internationally known as a expert in Adult ADHD, especially as it affects relationships. She is also a powerful advocate for greater awareness and more effective treatment standards. She contributed the first chapter on couple therapy to Dr. Russell Barkley's clinical guide. And, she is the co-author of the first professional guide devoted to ADHD couple therapy that is based on the evidence of what works: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions (Routledge, 2016). In her previous career as a print journalist, her work producing special issues for USA Weekend won the prestigious Best Magazine Edition award from The Association for Women in Communications and a Unity Award in Media, recognizing accurate exposure of issues affecting minorities and disabled persons. GinaPera.com She writes the award-winning blog ADHDRollerCoaster.org
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Product details
Paperback: 369 pages
Publisher: 1201 Alarm Press; 1st edition (August 31, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0981548709
ISBN-13: 978-0981548708
Product Dimensions:
6.2 x 1.2 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
322 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#26,233 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book changed my life. I bought a copy for my parents and a copy for my brother and his wife.ADHD is a thing you have, but it does not define you. It's important to remember that. If you have ADHD, the beginning of this book is a bit tough to read, and keep in mind that there are characteristics described in it which may not be applicable to you (I am, thankfully, not bad with money, for example), but it is very eye opening, and in the latter half of the book, it talks about solutions. It's really written for your partner, but I found it to be incredibly insightful for me personally to understand more about why my brain does the things it does and how it affects other people. It allowed me to accept and forgive myself a bit more. It also made me want to work harder to overcome certain elements so that I can be a better person all around, for me and for the people around me.
A psychologist recommended the book and it has been a Godsend. I now know why I had so much trouble in school and in life when it comes to certain things. I am sad that it took me 58 years to understand the learning disability that has affected me my entire life. A previous doctor said I was the most classic case of ADD he had ever seen but did not put me on Ritalin which I know would have helped. I took someone else's Ritalin in my twenties and had never felt so clear before. He put me on Wellbutrin which I had a bad reaction to. I wish he and my therapist at the time could have helped me more when I saw them in 1993. My life could have been so much better. Instead office work and stress was overwhelming at work and I began to have anxiety attacks which are just now being addressed by Dr. Cook from Classical Herbs and Acupuncture who has helped me immensely.
Very informative book for the partner of ADHD spouse. This book contains both happy ending and divorced relationships related to ADHD issues. Our case is the spouse with ADHD is untreated and in denial, so medication and therapy part of this book does not currently help our situations, however, it helped me to realize how the adult ADHD marriage issues are so identical to each others including my own. I can say that I have much clearer views of where I stand in this relationships and what is and what is not my problems now. I can see why there are some very negative reviews on this book, because this book is brutally honest snap shots of many ADHD marriages, and of course some people would not like to see the facts. I had read many books regards to adult and children's ADHD, and I would say this book helped me the most. Highly recommended.
Hi! Hello there. Scouring the internet at 2am for books on ADHD because you are living with someone with it & are about to LOSE.YOUR.DAMN.MIND. I get it. I really do. I am sorry. But you can stop looking now. I've read & read & scoured all the internets & the libraries & books & blogs for you; and you can stop now. Just get this one book & do these things & it will be hard as hell, but you can do it & you will be ok. Forget buying or reading all of the other stuff you've collected trying to find an answer & a way forward that doesn't involve you having a physical, spiritual, and emotional breakdown; those resources are all crap compared to this. I have honestly considered calling my library & telling them to get rid of all their other crappy ADHD books & just put this ONE on the shelves. This is the one you'll need. It's like Gina crawled into your head & is perfectly describing the chaos that is your home & relationship, but that few if anyone else ever sees. You aren't alone & you aren't crazy & you will know that (finally) from page one of this book. The other books will give you platitudes & unhelpful suggestions, like "be more organized!" but anyone who has lived with a partner with ADHD knows that omgbutyouvetriedeverythingalready and you need more. You need HELP & NOW. Get this book & don't waste your precious little time & money on the others. and good luck! you'll need it.
As the partner of an ADDer, I got a greater understanding of how the behaviours of this disorder manifest in an intimate relationship. I realised that I am not to blame for everything, and that I am not alone in this daily struggle. I feel more positive to take charge of my own reactions to these often hurtful behaviours. At least I know where they're coming from. Thank you Gina.
I purchased this book hoping to learn about someone I love very much. By page 4 I was in tears because I realized I was reading about myself. ADHD is not at all what most of us think it is. I promise. This book changed the way I see myself, and in that I see and feel my entire life before reading it in a completely different light. Gina's book is the single greatest gift I've ever received, and I say that with total sincerity.
I gave this a 5 star haven't had time to read alot of it and as far as the you? me? part not sure the other part will at all - but what I wanted to say if this book has very high ratings and is a good seller and I think for anyone like myself with terrible adult ADD that came on later way after I was grown up, and slowly, that most anything written with an attempt to help us with all the various problems and to deal with them in different ways is definitely worth buying. Alot of super reviews on this book - NOT just here.
I think the book is very helpful, especially when you are in a relationship with someone with ADD. It confirms my understanding and how it affects both sides. It is quite a roller coaster ride, and I know there are many people who are not aware that they have ADD or are with those with ADD, they just think it's 'normal' for them, as crazy as it may be. It's enough to drive someone insane if they aren't aware of what's going on. God Bless us...
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